Qwest

I'll start it off. First 50!

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.

12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.


20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right dammit!!" Make a scene.

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

26. Climb things.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

33. Take bets on the battle from above.

34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.

47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again."

49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out
much and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.



Feel free to add some of your own, see how far we can get with this. ^^

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REIGN

Quick question, have you, by any chance, done any of these? Actually, I think I may have done a couple of them.

I'd like to try "46" and see if someone actually takes that stuff home with them.

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This companion was taken from his side to signify that she was to be dear unto him as his own flesh. Not from his head, lest she should rule over him; nor from his feet, lest he should tyrannize over her; but from his side, to denote that species of equality which is to subsist in the marriage state."- Matthew Henry
~TI AMO MAESTRO~

P.R.M.S.

I think I'd like to try these.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.

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P.R.M.S. = Pistons Rawk My Sox
Note to All : This is not me, I don't own a peter.

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The Official Hoops Talk Leg Humper
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DyessFan

This is funny stuff!!

I've done #9 before, because they did something to tick me off earlier and I purposely walked slow and I knew they couldn't get around me.

#43 is something I've done before, although I didn't do it on purpose. Who wants to walk ALL the way back to that certain department to take something back? Not me.

I was with someone who did #35 with the handguns and claiming he was on anti-depressants. I thought the workers were going to shit their pants.........they looked terrified. I had to walk away because I was laughing so hard. Good times......

#50 is the ultimate one. Where else but Walmart would you want to sit and relax like that. They have everything there you could need....everything!! I love Walmart!!

I'll try and think of some more.

Ed the Ceo

I just got some socks at wal-mart.

REIGN

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Ed the CEO @ Nov 14 2006, 07:15 PM) [snapback]31991[/snapback]</div>Were they tube socks, Ed?

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This companion was taken from his side to signify that she was to be dear unto him as his own flesh. Not from his head, lest she should rule over him; nor from his feet, lest he should tyrannize over her; but from his side, to denote that species of equality which is to subsist in the marriage state."- Matthew Henry
~TI AMO MAESTRO~

TheFamily24

:ROFL: :LMAO: :ROFL: :LMAO: This thread is HILARIOUS!

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Ed the Ceo

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(VERSATALIS @ Nov 14 2006, 08:22 PM) [snapback]31992[/snapback]</div>Yep, they are for my Internet porn search's.

marklar mm

I just go to Wal-Mart to see what kind of interesting people are shopping there on that particular day. FYI...the one I go to is out around Hillsdale/Branch counties, so a good amount of farm folk.

gentle

I want to shoplift an entire aisle from WalMart to finance a special trip I'm going to soon take.

I want to rip them off harder than Fergie ripped off JJ Fad's "Supersonic."

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The White T-mac

put a box of condoms next to the hand lotion

DyessFan

Hey, T-Mac...you took mine!!! ^^

Where else can you get toilet paper, three rolls of film developed, digital camera, Hank Williams Jr.'s Greatest Hits, apples, grapes, cat and dog food AND condoms but at good ole' WALMART!!!

It kicks ass.....

REIGN

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(DyessFan74 @ Nov 16 2006, 02:27 PM) [snapback]32109[/snapback]</div>
Ruthie, are you trying to tell us that you bought a digital camera?

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This companion was taken from his side to signify that she was to be dear unto him as his own flesh. Not from his head, lest she should rule over him; nor from his feet, lest he should tyrannize over her; but from his side, to denote that species of equality which is to subsist in the marriage state."- Matthew Henry
~TI AMO MAESTRO~

P.R.M.S.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(DyessFan74 @ Nov 16 2006, 03:27 PM) [snapback]32109[/snapback]</div>Don't forget forget you can buy tires/get them rotated, buy a pet fish, get your nails done, apply for a loan, and go to subway...

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Note to All : This is not me, I don't own a peter.

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DyessFan

.....AND get your taxes done.

.....AND get your kid's hair cut for super cheap.

.....AND get your prescriptions filled.



*yeah, I did get a digital camera today, Flowers. I let the kids take some pictures of me....BUT....I don't know how to put the pictures on here. So....too bad.